why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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