Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
