forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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