We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
