What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
you will always have a special place in my vag
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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