Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
