i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Watching her eat just hurts me
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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