i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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