Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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