We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
