ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
don't judge my taste in strippers
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Randomize
