Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
