So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
