then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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