absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I smell stomach acid.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
