i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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