the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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