I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Of course I have a pirate flag
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
