Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
