I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
