I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
