is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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