Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
