Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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