i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Just cropdusted the office
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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