Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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