we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
