Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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