If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
