there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Just puked most of my soul out..
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
