Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
