i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
