was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
