apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
The adults are the big ones right?
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