i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
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