is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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