Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
