apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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