that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
