at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
