my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
