Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
