I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
