dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
why is half of my head shaved?
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