his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
