I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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