OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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