it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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