Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
