Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
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